Frankenstein ‘s Not Dead

YEAH WELCOME TO THE MONSTERPAGE, FRANKENSTEIN ‘S NOT DEAD AKA FND, FUNCTIONAL NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER.

SHORT EXPLANATION, THIS CONDITION IS CAUSED BY NONE SPECIFIC TRIGGERS AND IS, IN MY CASE, VERY WEATHER DEPENDANT. IT ‘S NON DEGENERATIVE, AND NOT AN ISSUE OF BRAIN/NERVE/MUSCLE DAMAGE OR DISEASE, BUT A TEMPORARY DYSFUNCTIONING OF THE NERVESIGNALLING BETWEEN MOTOR CORTEX AND MUSCLES, IN MY CASE BROUGHT ON BY SENSORY OVERLOAD AND OVERRECEPTIVENESS TO BAROMETRIC PRESSURE CHANGES, HUMIDITY AND SUCH. THE PALETTE OF SYMPTOMS INCLUDE STIFFNESS – THE MONSTER WALK – SEVERE CRAMPING OF THE MUSCLES, SERIOUSLY IMPAIRED MUSCLE MOTOR SKILLS, HEADACHES, PAIN-INDUCED INSOMNIA, EXTREME PHOTOFOBIA (TL LAMPS MEANS HAT AND DARK GLASSES, AND PEOPLE TELLING ME THE SUN DOESN’T SHINE INDOORS, AND I STILL MANAGE NOT TO PUNCH THEM FOR IT, HURAY), AND A CONTINUOUS SENSE OF PAIN, RANGING FROM VAGUE TO EXHAUSTING. THESE SYMPTOMS COME AND GO, SO ONE CAN FIND ME WOODPLANKED IN A SOFA BUT HOPEFULLY ALSO ON THE DANCEFLOOR, IN THE WORKSHOP OR ON BOARD, SOMETIMES WITHIN HOURS OF EACH OTHER, BECAUSE IT CAN LIFT JUST AS EASILY AS DROP DOWN HARD. MWELL, NOT QUITE

MEDICALLY SPEAKING IT’S FINALLY GETTING MORE RESEARCH BEYOND THE OLD “WE CAN’T FIND IT, SO IT’S NOT THERE”, OR THE CLASSIC “IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD”.( STILL FIND THAT THE SICKEST PROOF OF THE UNDYING BELIEF IN IMAGINATION, TELLING PEOPLE THEY REALLY JUST SHOULD SNAP OUT OF NOT BEING ABLE TO LIFT A FINGER, WHILE MEANTIME YOU FAIL TO IMAGINE THAT THE CONDITION IS REAL, ANGUISHING, AND FCKN PAINFULL, PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, SOCIALLY, AND A FINANCIAL WRECKING BALL, SINCE I CANNOT GUARANTEE ANY APPOINTMENTS, AND OFTEN CANNOT PERFORM PHYSICAL TASKS FOR DAYS AT A TIME.)

SO IF IT LOOKS LIKE I’M DOING A FRANKENSTEIN IMITATION OR TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO LIFT MY ARM, JUST PLAY NICE AND TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE, MAKE ME LAUGH.

I DON’T GET MEDS, TRANQUILIZERS OR BENEFITS OUT OF THIS, AND PERSONALLY I DON’T SEE THE POINT IN MEDICATING OR NUMBING CHRONIC PAINS, FRANKENSTEIN I CAN DEAL WITH, ZOMBIE NO WAY. I DO USE AND EXPERIMENT WITH HERBALS, CBD OILS AND MARIHUANA, AND WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS A DECENT BOTTLE OF HARD LIQUOR TILL THE PAIN NUMBS OUT. I PREFER TO BE HEALTHY, AND I EAT BETTER THAN MOST OF YOU, AND NO IT’S NOT A CONSEQUENCE OF MY LIFESTYLE, MORE THE OTHER WAY AROUND, I SIMPLY PREFER TO STAY BUSY AND FIND STUFF TO DISTRACT ME THAN LIE THERE THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH IT FCKN HURTS, SINCE THAT REALLY DON’T DO ANYONE ANY GOOD. REALLY.

ALSO PLEASE DON’T COME UP WITH THE TEXTBOOK STRESS/TRAUMA/EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS THEOREM, TRUST ME, NOT BEING ABLE TO MOVE AT ALL GETS EVERY STRESS ALARMBELL RINGING, COUNTS AS HIGHLY TRAUMATIC IN THE ACTUAL MOMENT, AND LEAVES ME EMOTIONALLY DRAINED. I’VE BEEN DEALING WITH STOMACH ULCERS FOR YEARS, AND TOLD THE SAME NONSENSE, UNTILL THIS LITTLE CRITTER CALLED HELIOBACTER WAS DISCOVERED, TREATED, AND NO MORE ULCERS IN FIVE YEARS SINCE, THOUGH THEY WERE SOME OF THE MOST STRESSY TIMES EVER. SO KINDLY REFRAIN FROM CLICHEE OPINIONS, AND THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING, WHEN GOOD I’M GOOD, WHEN NOT, LET’S DO THE MONSTER STOMP!!!

MAY YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR BE DARKER THAN THE PLACE YOU ‘RE IN

YOU CAN FIND A DONATION BUTTON ON THE CONTACT PAGE, OR TAP THE CROWDFUNDING BUTTON AT THE BOTTOM OF ANY PAGE, MOST APPRECIATED, ENJOY

#FND

#ROCKNROLLSAILOR